


Where Do Broken Hearts Go?

by RavenclawPianist



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Road Trip, based on the song by One Direction, bellamy/raven/gina friendship, hints of lexa & bellamy friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-06-07 12:45:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,612
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6805102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RavenclawPianist/pseuds/RavenclawPianist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke confesses she's in love with Bellamy and then runs away. Bellamy isn't going to let her go so easily.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. All the Rest of My Crimes Don't Come Close

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jekisawrites](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jekisawrites/gifts).



> Huge thanks to Jess (thefangirlingbarista on Tumblr) for giving me the encouragement to actually write this instead of just thinking about it!

“So what you’re telling me is that something happened between you and Clarke last night, she freaked out, and now you can’t find her?” Raven clarified over the phone, her voice void of emotion. “Do I get any other details?”

Bellamy scowled into the phone, running his free hand through his hair. “Not right now. I’m on my way to your apartment, are you going to help me find her?”

“Let me try her phone,” Raven replied. “Maybe she just isn’t answering you.” She hung up without warning.

He threw the phone on the empty passenger seat, drumming his hands restlessly on the steering wheel while he waited for the light to change.

 

 

“What’s up?” he asked, opening the door to find Clarke in his hallway. Her face was paler than usual and her eyes burned with a strange intensity. “You okay? It’s the middle of the night.”

“I know and I’m sorry,” she said quickly, stepping past him into his apartment. “I just couldn’t sleep and really wanted to see you.”

With the ease of years of practice he ignored the warmth that spread through his stomach at her admission. “No worries, I was still up anyway. What’s going on?”

“Have I ever told you about the time my dad and I went to Ireland?” she asked, pacing around his tiny living room, still speaking a little too fast.

“Uh, just the basics?” he replied, sitting on the futon he’d bought back in college and refused to throw out until it physically broke. 

Clarke nodded, smiling tightly. “It was the summer before his accident. We spent a week total there, first in Derry and then we went to Dublin for a few days. There’s this old cobblestone road in the center of downtown Dublin, right by Trinity College, and there were all these street musicians playing. It was the only day we were there that it didn’t rain.”

“Okay,” Bellamy drew out the word, waiting for her to get to the point. After three years of friendship, Bellamy knew Clarke rarely rambled without a point.

“And I was remembering this flower cart where my dad bought me a bouquet of daisies and then we spent the next, like, two hours going and giving a flower to each of the musicians and talking with them,” she continued. Finally she stopped her pacing and sat down on the edge of the coffee table in front of the futon. “And this one musician told us the reason she sings only love songs is because when she thinks about the person she loves, she stops thinking about when it’ll rain next or how she’ll pay the rent. That just thinking about them makes it a beautiful day and takes the weight of everything off her shoulders.”

“Okay,” Bellamy repeated, more confused than ever.

“And then I realized that’s how I feel with you,” she said all in one breath. “Like everything is good and the sun is always out and like all the shit I’ve had to deal with just is gone because you’re around.”

Bellamy’s brain short circuited. He saw her lips continue to move, but all he could hear was a buzzing. His heart sped up to a million beats a minute and he felt like he had been punched in the face. Suddenly he realized Clarke had stopped speaking and was looking at him with a hopeful look on her face.

“You- what?” he asked, mouth dry. “I don’t-”

He saw the instant the light in her eyes went out. She stood quickly, smiling tightly at him. “Right, you- you don’t have to- I’ll just-” Clarke rushed from his apartment, closing the door lightly behind her. 

“Understand,” he said to the empty room. “I don’t understand.” Bellamy stood and went to the door, hoping to catch her in the hall. He rushed down the stairwell on the chance she was still in the lobby. 

It was empty.

 

Gina opened the door at Raven’s apartment. “Okay, I have to know. Did the two of you get drunk and sleep together, because if so Monty owes me and Raven both twenty bucks.”  
Bellamy ignored her and went into the apartment. Raven looked up from her laptop, frowning at him. “Seriously, what the hell happened, Blake?” she demanded. “Clarke isn’t answering my calls either, deleted her Facebook, and none of our friends have heard from her since around ten last night.”

“Shit,” he muttered, sinking onto the chair next to hers. He rubbed a hand over his face. “I fucked up.”

“What happened?” Gina asked, wrapping her arms around Raven’s shoulders and leaning against her. 

Bellamy sighed. “I honestly don’t know. She came over at like two in the morning and then was telling me about a trip to Dublin she made with her dad and then she said she was in love with me.” 

Raven whistled lowly. Gina nodded and grinned crookedly. “Damn.”

“So what’s the problem?” Raven asked. “Did she run in the morning and now you’re worried she regrets it?”

“Um,” Bellamy hedged. “No. She ran right after telling me she loved me.”

Gina stood up straight again. “Bellamy,” she said sternly. “Did you tell her you love her too?”

“She didn’t really give me the chance,” he muttered.

Raven punched him in the shoulder. “What the hell did you say to her?”

“I was completely blindsided here,” he tried to explain. “I mean, she said she loves me. That takes some time to sink in.”

“What. Did. You. Say?” Raven repeated, voice dangerous.

He didn’t met either woman’s eyes. “I stammered, and started to say I didn’t understand but she cut me off and ran out.”

Both Raven and Gina groaned. “You idiot,” Raven shook her head. “She probably thinks you rejected her.”

“I didn’t mean to!” Bellamy argued. “I needed a minute to process!”

“When a girl you’re in love with says she loves you, you’re supposed to say it back,” Gina explained slowly in a voice she’d normally use with the kindergarten class she taught during the school year. “You’re not supposed to hesitate. It sends the wrong message.”

Bellamy put his head down on the table. Raven patted him awkwardly on the back. “She probably just needs some space. She’ll come back eventually and you two can go back to quietly pinning for each other.”

That did not sound appealing. He’d been at least half in love with Clarke since halfway through his junior year of college when she had been in his study group for the calculus class they’d taken to fill their math requirement for graduation. As the years had passed, she had become a steady part of his life. Their friend group was completely integrated and they saw each other almost every day. Seeing her and knowing she loved him but he’d screwed it all up by not saying he loved her too was one of the worst things he could imagine. Bellamy pushed away from the table and stood up.

“No,” he declared. “I’m going after her.”

Raven sighed. “Or you could go for the big romantic gesture and hope that fixes things, sure.”

“We don’t know where she is, though,” Gina pointed out. “Unless you know where she’d go?”

Bellamy shook his head, losing a little of his confidence. “I mean, there are a few places that she could go? I’ll go to all of the places I can think of until I find her.”

Gina grinned. “Sounds like a road trip.”

“No,” Raven said quickly, pointing at her girlfriend. “We are not getting roped into this. This is Bellamy’s romantic quest, we do not have to go with him.”

“Yes, we do,” Gina replied, already heading towards Raven’s bedroom to pack a bag. “He’ll need someone else to drive when he gets tired and someone to make sure he doesn’t lose his nerve. Come on, Raven, you know you want to see how this goes.”

Raven made a face. “What about work? We all do have jobs.”

“It’s summer,” Bellamy pointed out. “I’m off until August. You guys really don’t have to come with me!” he called to Gina.

She poked her head out of the bedroom. “Yes, we do. I’m off from the school until August too, and I can easily find someone to cover at the bar for a few weeks if need be.”

“Well, I have a job,” Raven said, stubborn.

Gina smiled fondly. “Honey, you have two weeks of vacation time saved up and I know you haven’t even touched it yet. Your boss would be thrilled to have to take a break. Now come on, grab our toothbrushes and let’s go.”

An hour and a stop at Bellamy’s apartment to put together his own bag later and they got onto the interstate leading out of town. Gina sat in the backseat with a huge map folded out, circling the places they had decided on as Clarke’s most likely destinations. Raven toyed with her iPod, putting together a playlist for the day’s drive. Bellamy focused on the road.

“So first stop is Arcadia, Virginia,” Gina commented. “Clarke’s hometown. Then we’ll hit up good ol’ Mount Weather University, followed by her family’s vacation cabin and then if we still haven’t found her we’ll regroup.”

“You better have one hell of an apology ready, Blake,” Raven drawled.

Bellamy nodded, jaw set. He pressed down harder on the gas pedal as they took the exit that would lead them down to Virginia.


	2. Now I'm Searching Every Lonely Place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I FIGURED OUT HOW TO MAKE TEXT BOLD OR ITALIC AND I AM VERY PROUD OF MYSELF!

Arcadia, Virginia had a population of 2497 people, two diners, and one Motel 8. Gina handled getting them a room for the night while Bellamy and Raven went to the diner across the street, an old fifties’ style place with a sign in the window that boasted they had the “best” milkshakes in the county. “Do you think they know the quotation marks are in the wrong place?” Bellamy asked absently as they picked up the menus left on the table.

“It could be intentional,” Raven commented. “You know, some kind of secret. Maybe they’re the ‘best,’ but really everyone knows they’re awful and so it’s a warning?”

“Guys, they have milkshakes!” Gina grinned as she slid into the booth beside Raven. “Either of you want to split one with me?”

The obviously high-school-aged waitress showed up at their table. “Hi, my name is Fox and I’ll be your server tonight. What can I get you?”

“One hot fudge shake,” Gina chirped. “And waters all around.”

“A cup of coffee would be great,” Bellamy added as the waitress began to walk away. She nodded in acknowledgement as she went back to the kitchen. Raven pulled a bunch of sugar packets out of the holder on the table and started shuffling them. “So we go to Abby’s place in the morning, right?”

Bellamy nodded. “I don’t think she’d appreciate us all just showing up at,” he checked his watch. “Ten-thirty at night. We’ll go over once we’re up.”

“What if she’s not home?” Gina asked reasonably.

“Even if she is home, what are we going to say?” Raven countered. “Hey Abby, have you seen your daughter? She kind of ran away and vanished after Bellamy didn’t say he loved her back.”

Bellamy put his head down on the table. “She is going to kill me.”

“No she won’t,” Gina said soothingly. “Doctors take an oath to do no harm. She can’t kill you with breaking some moral oaths.”

“And the fact that we’re looking for Clarke to fix your huge fuck up should help convince her not to kill you,” Raven agreed as the waitress returned with their drinks. They placed their meal orders before turning to their drinks. Gina happily slurped at her milkshake while Raven used the water dewing on the sides of her glass to draw on the table. Bellamy stared into his coffee. It didn’t take long for their food to arrive. All of them dug into their burgers and fries hungrily, letting conversation fall to the side.

Back at the motel Bellamy flipped through the television channels aimlessly while Gina showered and Raven checked all her social media feeds for any sign of Clarke. She shut her laptop with a sigh. “Still nothing. This might be the longest she’s gone without updating something in years.”

“Do you think we’ll actually be able to find her?” he asked quietly.

Raven looked over at him. “Do you think we will?”

“Honestly, I don’t know. Half of me just keeps thinking she’ll call and ask why we aren’t all at trivia night or something, and the other half is worried that she went somewhere I’ll never be able to figure out, like Vietnam or something, and that I’ll never get to fix this,” he said.

She moved from the bed she’d been lying on and sat down next to him, their shoulders touching. “You’ll get to fix this,” she told him. “You and Clarke, you’re best friends. No, you’re more than that. I don’t even know how to describe what you are. But you are like magnets. You pull apart, but you still have this force that keeps trying to pull you back together. You’ll see her again, and you’ll get to fix this.”

He nodded. “Thanks, Raven.”

She nudged him harder with her shoulder. “You two idiots matter to me. I want to see you happy, and I know you’re happier when you’re together.”

“Please tell me he’s not having second thoughts,” Gina said, coming out of the bathroom and toweling her hair.

“No second thoughts,” Bellamy assured her. “Just some self-doubt.”

“Good, because I just spent twelve hours in a car with the two of you, and I am not doing that just to turn around without even really trying to find Clarke,” Gina replied, tossing the towel back into the bathroom. “Now turn up the TV. I love this movie.”

 

Raven rang the bell of the huge house, stepping back to stand beside Bellamy and Gina on the front porch. They waited while they heard soft footsteps approaching the door. A woman in a pair of khaki pants and a neat button-down shirt opened the door, a smile forming on her lips when she recognized Raven. “What are you doing here?” she asked, still smiling as she gave Raven a quick hug. “Is Clarke with you?”

Bellamy and Gina exchanged a look. Raven hugged Abby back before letting her go. “Um, we were actually hoping she was with you.”

“I don’t understand,” Abby replied. “Why don’t you all come in and explain?”

They all settled down on the black leather couch in the living room while Abby sat in the armchair across from them. “Why do you need to find Clarke?”

Gina and Raven looked over at Bellamy, eyebrows raised in an identical look. He sighed. “We, uh, had a misunderstanding. She got upset and took off and I’m trying to find her so I can set things right.”

“What was the misunderstanding?” Abby asked, voice calm.

Bellamy did his best not to wince. “Um, she, uh, I-”

“Clarke told him she loves him and his brain short circuited and he didn’t say anything back,” Raven cut in.

Abby pursed her lips and nodded. “About time,” she commented. “She’s been crazy for you for years.”

Bellamy tried not to gape at her and knew he failed. “You knew?”

“Ever since the year she had you and your sister come here for Christmas,” Abby replied. “I had never seen her so comfortable with someone. And with how she looks at you, it’s impossible not to see it. I take it you love her as well?” Bellamy nodded. Abby stood. “Well, I’ll go make a few calls and see if I can find out where she is.”

Gina got off the couch and began to wander around the room, looking at the family pictures on the shelf above the fireplace. “Clarke was a cute kid.”

“Have you seen the one of her in her T-ball uniform yet?” Raven asked, joining Gina. “It’s my favorite. She’s missing her two front teeth and looks ridiculous.”

Bellamy ignored them, going to the large window that looked out at the backyard. Abby kept the small garden there neatly tended and the grass was clipped to an orderly length. A large tree at the back of the yard held a faded white treehouse in its limbs, most of the paint worn away by time. The tattered rope ladder still hung from the fort.

 

_“Come on, this thing is solid as a rock,” Clarke assured him as she grinned at him through the hole in the floor of the treehouse. “Get up here!”_

_Bellamy sighed and climbed the rope ladder quickly, gloves slipping a little on the rope as he hauled himself up into the little wooden structure before rolling to lie on the floor beside Clarke. They arranged themselves so they faced opposite sides of the room, heads beside each other as they lie on their backs. Clarke had painted constellations on the roof of the treehouse as a child, even including the lines between the stars to clearly mark the shapes. He grinned up at the paint, easily picturing a young Clarke with paint all over her clothes and face focusing on drawing the lines perfectly straight._

_“Do you think the stars ever look down at people and try to draw lines between all of us?” Clarke asked suddenly. “Like that old Chinese proverb about the red string that ties soulmates together? The stars just look at us and make all these designs out of all the people who are meant to be important to each other?”_

_“I hope we make a giant middle finger,” Bellamy said. She laughed._

_“Who’s in our design?” she asked._

_“You and me, obviously,” he replied. “Octavia, Raven, Miller. Probably Monty and Jasper.”_

_She turned her head to look at him. “But you and me for sure?”_

_He looked back at her, seeing how the cold December air had turned her cheeks pink and gave her blue eyes an extra bit of brightness. Their faces were so close that all he would have to do is move an inch to kiss her face. She moved one of her own gloved hands to cup the top of his head, moving across his hair in a soft caress._

_“Yeah,” he said. “You and me for sure.”_

 

Bellamy jolted out of his memories when Abby returned to the room. “She’s not answering her phone,” she said. “And none of my friends have seen her.”

He highly doubted Clarke would have gone to stay with any of Abby’s friends. Clarke had mentioned only a few fond memories of time spent with the board of directors at the hospital when she’d been growing up, and Bellamy knew none of them were fond enough to make her want to go to them in a time of distress.

“Thanks for checking,” Raven said, going to hug Abby again. “We should go, but we’ll let you know as soon as we hear anything from her.”

Abby nodded. “She probably just went somewhere to get some time to clear her head. She did the same thing when Jake died. I found her the next day at the cemetery, curled up against his headstone.”

“Is the cemetery close?” Gina asked. “We could check as we try to make our next plan.”

“Take a left when you leave the neighborhood and then take a right on Cypress Drive,” Abby said. “It’ll be on the right in about three miles.”

“Thanks, Abby,” Raven said.

Abby nodded. “Good luck. I’ll keep trying to call her.”

 

The drive to the cemetery took about ten minutes. They piled out of the car and began to walk down the rows, quickly realizing they were the only people there. Without having to say it, they all continued looking for a familiar name. Bellamy found it first, stopping at the foot of the grave. The headstone was simple, white marble kept polished by the natural forces of wind and rain. Letters cut into the stone stated:

**Jacob Edward Griffin**

**December 15 1963- September 23 2009**

**Beloved husband, father, and friend**

“It was a car crash,” Raven told Gina quietly as Bellamy sank into a crouch in front of the stone. “Clarke was sixteen. She told me about it freshman year after we got drunk on shitty vodka. Said losing him was worse than being cut open. I’ve never heard her talk about it since.”

“Every year on the anniversary she and I go to the movies and see everything that’s playing,” Bellamy commented, standing up. “Usually around the second or third movie she starts crying, so we make sure the movie’s a sad one so she can pretend that’s why. By the forth movie she falls asleep in the theater. Last year I carried her out to the car instead of waking her up.”

Gina pulled the flower clip out of her hair and placed it on top of the headstone. “I wish we’d thought to bring actual flowers.”

“Something tells me Jake would understand,” Raven commented, wrapping her arms around Gina’s waist and resting her chin on her shoulder.

Bellamy took a long look at the grave before turning and starting to walk back to the car. Gina and Raven fell into step behind him. None of them broke the silence until they were in the car and turning back onto the main road through town. “So, Mount Weather?” Raven asked from her place in the backseat.

Bellamy clutched the steering wheel more tightly. “Mount Weather.”


	3. Are You Sleeping, Baby, by Yourself (Or are You Giving It to Someone Else)?

Bellamy drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, ignoring the looks Raven and Gina gave him. “You don’t think she’d be here, right? I mean, she wouldn’t go back to Lexa?” He stared out the windshield as they drove up the hill towards their alma mater, slipping back into his old habit of counting the trees lining the road until they reached the campus.

“She thinks you rejected her,” Gina reminded him. “And she was already pretty vulnerable. Lexa has made it pretty clear in the past that she was still interested. If she’s here, it’s because she needed to be with someone she knew would take her in.”

“And as much as we all hate to admit it, Lexa was around a few times for Clarke when we weren’t,” Raven chimed in. “Their relationship wasn’t all bad, even if it ended terribly.”

“Besides, I thought you and Lexa were on okay terms now?” Gina asked. “You keep posting those weird ‘Will It Blend’ videos on each other’s Facebook pages.”

“Just because we both enjoy seeing random things destroyed by blenders does not mean I want her to get back together with the woman I’m in love with,” Bellamy replied, pulling the car to a stop in the parking lot of the main campus building. “The whole point of this trip, in case you’ve forgotten, is for me to find Clarke and tell her I love her too.”

“And you’ll probably propose at the same time because you’re an idiot,” Raven commented, hopping out of the car.

Gina frowned, glancing over at Bellamy. “She’s just grumpy from the long drive,” she said, draping the strap of her purse over her shoulder. “You are an idiot, but not for wanting to marry Clarke.”

They walked into the blasting air conditioning of the student union together, instantly swamped by a wave of nostalgia. Gina grinned. “Remember when we took over the corner by the coffee shop and made a giant blanket fort?”

“Apparently they now have banned blankets from the student union,” Bellamy commented, pointing at the sign by the coffee counter.

“They finally painted over that awful tan color,” Raven shook her head. “The green isn’t much better though.”

Gina stopped by the doors to a study room to the left of the stairway leading to the upper levels of the building. “Hey Raven? Isn’t this where-”

“Holy shit!” Raven grinned and slung an arm around her girlfriend’s waist. “We should have had a plaque made. First place Raven Reyes and Gina Martin hooked up.”

“Please tell me that wasn’t until after we all used that room as our study place for finals right before graduation,” Bellamy winced. “Oh god, please tell me you didn’t use the table?”

The girls just smiled.

“Okay, we’re moving on. She should be in the admissions department,” Bellamy started up the stairs, Gina and Raven holding hands behind his as they followed. They got off the stairs at the second level and walked to the end of the hallway. A brightly colored sign above the double doors welcomed new and prospective students. The desk in the center of the office was empty. Doors led off the main room into smaller private offices. Only one door was open, giving them a glimpse of a brunette woman with sharp facial features typing furiously on her computer.

Bellamy went over and rapped on the open door with his knuckles. “Hey.”

She looked up from the screen, brown eyes surprised for a moment before hardening again. “Bellamy Blake. What are you doing in my office?”

“I, uh,” he sighed deeply. “Have you seen Clarke lately?”

Her lips pursed. “Not recently, no. We haven’t really talked in- in a long time.” Lexa tilted her head, her long braid slipping over her shoulder to fall down her back. “You ask as if you’ve lost her.”

“Kinda did,” Raven muttered.

Lexa’s eyebrows shot up. “You lost Clarke? You realize she’s an adult, right? Did you just turn around at the store one day and she was gone?”

“A little more complicated than that,” Bellamy bit back. “We had a misunderstanding and she ran off before I could fix it.”

Lexa huffed out a laugh. “A misunderstanding? What, did she finally say she’s in love with you and you thought she meant as a friend?” She looked up from her computer at their shocked faces. “Oh my god, she did and you were a dumbass about it. God, you always were an idiot, Blake.”

“Look, have you seen her?” Bellamy asked again.

Lexa shook her head. “She wouldn’t have come to me. I was never good at healing her heart. All I ever could seem to do was break it.”

 

_“I thought she loved me too,” Clarke whimpered, hands over her face as she cried. She curled up around a blanket on the corner of his futon, shoulders heaving as she tried to control her hurt. “But she didn’t even try to explain.”_

_“What exactly did she say?” Bellamy asked, rubbing a soothing hand over her ankle._

_She looked up at him, eyes made an electric blue from her tears. “She said she was done. That what we’d had was fun, but we both had to move on.”_

_Bellamy reached over and pulled her up from her fetal position to lean against his side. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged her tightly. “I’m so sorry. That is a total asshole move.”_

_Clarke chuckled wetly. “Thanks. I just wish I had a reason you know? I mean, is it me? Am I just not good enough for a good relationship?”_

_They’d been friends for three years, best friends for two. He’d seen her drunk on mint schnapps, sick with the stomach flu, stressed out of her mind while she changed from a biology to an art major, and happier than he’d ever seen her before or after on a fourth of July when they met up with all their friends at her family’s cabin and had a bonfire by the lake. Through it all, the one constant was her and how she lit up everything with which she came into contact._

_“You are good enough for everything,” he promised her._

_“Yeah?” she sniffled._

_“Yeah.”_

_Clarke smiled shakily and snuggled in closer to his side. “Is it okay if I just stay here with you tonight? I think Raven’s at Gina’s place and I don’t want to be alone.”_

_He nodded, leaning his cheek against her hair. “Sure. I can make waffles in the morning.”_

 

“I’m telling you, the one where they blend an actual cell phone is the best,” Lexa insisted, grinning. “There’s noxious gas and everything.”

Bellamy shook his head, propping his feet up on the edge of her armchair. “You always go for the dangerous ones. I’m telling you, the one where they blend Justin Bieber is the best. So much more entertaining and at the time when they made the videos was perfectly socially relevant.”

She shrugged. “If you like pop culture references sure, but science never dies.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes. “I can’t believe you’re in college recruitment. Don’t you scare away the new students?”

“I can be welcoming when I want to be,” she replied lazily, nudging his feet off her chair. “And we’ve gotten a large amount of LGBT students in the past two years since I started recruiting. It’s been great for our diversity programs.”

“It’s because the girls all have crushes on you,” he half-joked. “Way to use yourself as an asset.”

“It is what I do best,” she smirked before sobering. “Do you know where you’re going next?”

He sighed, letting his head fall back. “I’m running out of ideas.”

“Try her family’s cabin,” Lexa suggested. “I’ve never been there, but Clarke did seem to mention a lot of fond memories that took place there.”

Bellamy nodded. “Thanks.”

She nodded briskly before standing up. “I should get back to work. Good luck, Bellamy. I’ll see you in eight years at the ten-year reunion.”

“See you, Lexa.” He stood up and walked over to the corner where Raven and Gina sat making a house out of coffee stirrers. “You guys ready to go?”

“Sure,” Gina said, helping Raven to stand. “How was your talk with Lexa?”

“Surprisingly entertaining,” he replied as they walked back out through the student union. “Where did you end up going? You vanished after five minutes?”

“Oh, just taking a stroll down memory lane,” Raven replied innocently. “Stopped by a few places around the building that held meaning.”

Bellamy opened his mount before reconsidering and shaking his head. “I don’t even want to know. Look, Lexa suggested we try the Griffin family cabin. Think we can make it before sundown?”

“Not if you drive,” Gina replied, taking the keys from him. “Get in the backseat. I’ll get us there by nine.”


	4. Tell Me Where You're Hiding Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who is back from disappearing? I WILL finish this story, I swear.

They missed the turn onto the gravel road leading to Clarke’s cabin twice in the dark before finally turning off the interstate. Another fifteen minutes later they pulled up in

front of what was only a cabin in name. Gina whistled as they got out of the car.

            “I always forget how huge this place is. It reminds me of the house I grew up in more than a vacation cabin,” she commented, stretching her arms over her head.

            Raven glanced at Bellamy over the roof of the car. “Doesn’t look like any lights are on.”

            “She’s not here,” Bellamy agreed. “We’d see her car.”

            Gina shrugged and pulled their bags out of the trunk. “Well, we aren’t going anywhere else tonight. I don’t think Clarke would mind us staying here, do you?”

            Raven picked the lock on the front door, grinning when she pushed it open. “Sometimes I really love myself.”

            “Of course you do, you’re a loveable person,” Gina replied, flipping on the light in the front hallway. “I’m so glad we stopped and picked up those snacks last time we

filled the car with gas. Somehow I don’t think the fridge is going to be stocked,” she went through the open archway into what Bellamy remembered being the kitchen.

            Bellamy closed the door behind him and sighed, rubbing his forehead. “So, we’ll stay here tonight and figure out our next steps in the morning?”

            Gina poked her head back into the hall. “There’s something in here you guys should see.”

            “If there’s a dead rat on the floor I am not dealing with it,” Raven muttered. “One of you can throw that thing out. I am not getting rabies.”

            “Not a dead rat,” Gina replied, pointing at the sink. “Just freshly washed dishes in the drying rack.”

            Bellamy felt fresh energy spread through his veins. “She was here.”

            “So we’re finally on the right track,” Raven commented, slinging an arm around Gina’s waist. “That’s nice to know.”

            “Think she left an itinerary out anywhere?” Gina joked.

            “Okay, so we’ll stay here tonight and then tear the house apart tomorrow,” Raven said, glancing over at Bellamy. “Right?”

            He nodded, eyes still glued to the dishes. “She was here,” he repeated.

            Gina went over to him and patted his shoulder. “We’re going to find her. You ready to fix this?”

           

            After a night of restless sleep in one of the many bedrooms in the house, Bellamy woke up briefly after dawn. Not wanting to waste any time looking for clues as to

where Clarke had gone next, he went across the hall to the room that had always been Clarke’s when they had visited the lake with their friends.

            The room was fairly impersonal, off-white walls and blue curtains to match the blue quilts on the bed. Three photo frames stood on the wooden dresser. One showed

an old photo of the Griffin family standing in front of the lake house, Jake’s arms around Abby and a very young Clarke. Another held a picture of Clarke and her dad laughing

out on the dock. The third picture was the newest: a picture of Clarke, Bellamy, Raven, Octavia, Gina, Jasper, Monty, and Miller from the fourth of July the summer before their

last year of college when they all came out to the lake.

 

_The moon was barely visible through the trees on the other side of the lake. Monty and Jasper had finally gotten the bonfire going and everyone else was crowded_

_around it to make s’mores. Bellamy walked down the dock to sit beside Clarke at the end. “Hey loner.”_

_She knocked her shoulder against his. “Hey grump.”_

_“You okay?” he asked._

_Clarke nodded, smiling over at him. “You know Monty and Jasper were considering making fireworks?”_

_“Jesus,” he muttered. “Why can’t they just buy them like everyone else?”_

_“Apparently they’ve been banned from like twelve different fireworks places over the years,” she replied. “I told them they couldn’t bring any explosives on the vacation.”_

_“Good life advice, really,” he leaned back on his hands, watching the lake. “Thanks again for inviting all of us.”_

_“I wasn’t going to come out here alone, it gets boring. We don’t even have a TV out here,” she joked._

_“Glad to be of use in keeping you entertained.”_

_She bumped her shoulder against his again after a few moments of quiet, the only sounds the gentle lapping of the lake and the cheers and chatter of their friends_

_around the fire. “Where do you think we’ll all be next year?”_

_“I don’t know,” he replied. “Monty and Jasper might have been arrested by then for blowing something up, Miller will probably be working in cyber security, Raven might_

_have built JARVIS by then for all we know.”_

_“What about you?” she asked, nudging him again. “Where will you be?”_

 

_“God, that’s even harder to say. Hopefully working? Maybe in some town in Massachusetts? I’ll probably have some tiny apartment and call you every week to complain_

_about how much I hate teenagers.”_

_She shook her head. “Nope, you’ll be hanging out with me at least twice a week at a dive bar while you complain about teenagers.”_

_He looked over at her. “I will?”_

_“Yep,” she replied. “And I’ll be working at an art museum and live like two blocks away from you so you can remind me to eat.”_

_Bellamy laughed. “That does sound more realistic.”_

_“Hey guys!” Octavia yelled from the other end of the dock. “Get over here! We’re taking a group picture!”_

_Bellamy groaned and pulled Clarke to her feet. “Let’s get this over with.”_

_“It’ll be nice,” she retorted. “Don’t tell me you’re not having fun.”_

_“I always have fun with you,” he replied without thinking._

_Clarke beamed up at him, sliding her hand into his briefly before they reached the bonfire._

            Bellamy set the third frame back on the dresser, turning to look around the rest of the room. The closet door beside the bed stood slightly ajar, so he crossed to push it

further open. A pile of boxes sat pushed against the wall, each labeled with Clarke’s name and an age. Pulling the top box out, Bellamy sat down with it on the bed.

            The box was filled with old notebooks, pictures, essays, and a high school yearbook. After flipping through the yearbook, he set it aside along with the essays. Opening

one of the notebooks, he stopped on a page half-filled with the doodle of some kind of ivy plant. The rest of the page was filled with Clarke’s precise handwriting.

_ Heartbeats _

_Across the room he sits_

_A dream in dark jeans and a hoodie_

_The only boy I will ever love_

_But he doesn’t notice me_

_Every day is the same-_

_I sit here_

_He sits there_

_And I keep counting how many times_

_My heartbeat pounds out his name._

            Bellamy burst out laughing, turning the page to find the next attempt at poetry. Each poem was as bad as, if not worse, than the first. More of the notebooks alternated

between amazing doodles and awful poetry. By the third notebook Bellamy was in tears.

            “What the hell are you doing?” Raven demanded from the doorway, a pop tart in her hand.

            He held out the notebook to her on a poetry page. She read it quickly, eyebrows shooting up her forehead.

            “Jesus, that’s awful,” she said, sitting down on the other side of the box. “How many notebooks are there?”

            “I don’t know, ten in this box?” he replied, wiping his hand under his eyes. “I feel like such an idiot.”

            “For continuing to read this? Yeah, that is stupid.”

            “No,” he piled the notebooks back in the box. “For not realizing I loved her earlier. I mean, I’ve probably been in love with her since the second month I knew her.”

            “I’d say second week, but whatever,” Raven put the box back in the closet. “You know she’s been in love with you since the summer before senior year?”

            He put his head in his hands. “We’ve been wasting so much time.”

            Raven sat down next to him again. “But you won’t be wasting any more time, and isn’t that what matters?”

            “Why are you being supportive?” he asked, looking up from his hands. “You aren’t usually this supportive.”

            “Yeah, it feels weird for me too,” Raven glanced at the door. “I think Gina is finally rubbing off on me.”

            “I’d rather be rubbing on you,” Gina said as she stopped in the doorway. “Sorry, that sounded way better in my head. Anyway, I think I know where Clarke is.”

            Bellamy jumped to his feet. “What?!”

            “I got a text from Wells, her childhood best friend? I added him on Facebook a while back because I needed more people to play in Words with Friends,” Gina explained.

            “Seriously, no one else still plays that,” Raven interrupted. Bellamy glared at her.

            “Anyway,” Gina ignored her girlfriend. “I texted him to ask if he could think of any places she would go and he says she’s with him. Apparently she showed up yesterday afternoon and is staying with him for a few days.”

            “Do we have his address?” Raven asked, standing up.

            Gina nodded. “According to Google Maps, we’re about five hours away.”


	5. Will You Ever Love Me Again?

Bellamy took a deep breath, staring at the door in front of him. He reached out to knock before blowing his breath out again and leaning his forehead against the door. 

“Bellamy Blake, if we just spent four days in a car to find Clarke and get you to over-dramatically declare your love and you wimp out now, I will murder you,” Raven hissed from behind him. “Now knock on the damn door.”

“Or we can throw rocks at each window of the house until Clarke looks out?” Gina offered. “If we’re going for over-dramatic

“Little rocks,” Raven clarified. “Pebbles. We don’t want to break any of Wells’ windows.”

Bellamy shook his head before taking another deep breath and knocking quickly on the door. He stepped back and pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans, bouncing slightly on the balls of his feet. He froze when the door opened.

Wells grinned at them all before stepping outside and quietly closing the door. “I am so glad to see you. Clarke has been moping since she got here, which would be understandable if it wasn’t obvious to everyone but her that you are in love with her too.”

Bellamy flushed. “Does she know I’m here?”

Wells shook his head. “I thought she might take off if she knew. She isn’t exactly thinking clearly from what I can tell. I’ve already had to talk her out of cutting off all her hair and dying it black.”

“Oh god, she’s going emo,” Raven groaned. “Did we somehow travel back to 2008?”

Wells grinned. “You’d think so based on how she’s been acting. Anyway, she’s out on the deck, if you want to go see her.” 

Bellamy opened the door and went straight through the house to the sliding glass door at the back, pausing before opening it. He could see Clarke sitting on the wooden steps leading down to the backyard. His heartbeat sounded in his ears and his vision narrowed to the blonde woman sitting in the afternoon sunshine. She faced away from the door and leaned forward with her elbows braced on her knees, staring out at the backyard. Taking another deep breath, Bellamy slid open the glass door and stepped onto the deck.

Clarke didn’t turn around, either assuming he was Wells or too caught up in her thoughts to hear his footsteps approaching. Without saying anything, Bellamy sat down beside her on the step. 

A moment passed while Bellamy tried to think of the right thing to say before he gave up and started talking. “I think it was a week before graduation. I was sitting in my room rereading The Iliad and trying not to think about leaving school and entering the adult world and you barged in with a huge pile of blankets and pillows and declared that we were going to turn my entire room into a blanket fort.”

Clarke had turned to look at him as soon as he began speaking, eyes wide as she stared at him. He kept his eyes trained on the oak tree in the back corner of the yard as he continued. “And we built the fuck out of that blanket fort. And afterwards we watched season three of The Last Airbender on my laptop and ate those brownies you make in coffee mugs that I swear are the only thing you actually know how to cook and right before the end of the episode with the Lion Turtle I looked over at you and you had a tiny smear of chocolate stuck on your lip and all I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss you.”

He glanced over at her, their eyes meeting. “That was when I first admitted to myself that I am in love with you.”

She gasped, her mouth falling slightly open. 

“When you said you loved me, back home, my brain short-circuited,” Bellamy admitted, a hint of a blush coloring his cheeks. “It never even occurred to me that you could feel the same way. I couldn’t put a sentence together, let alone tell you how I felt and-”

“Bellamy?” Clarke asked, a soft smile on her face.

“Yeah?”

She put a hand on his shoulder. “Stop talking.” Clarke leaned forward and pressed her lips to his.

Bellamy let out a happy mumble against her mouth before cupping her cheek in his hand and pressing closer, scooting over on the step until he could put an arm around her waist. Clarke kept one hand on his shoulder and slid the other arm up and over until she held onto the back of his shirt collar. They pulled apart momentarily to breathe before kissing again, their smiles making it difficult to deepen the kiss too much. 

“How did you find me here?” Clarke asked once they calmed down enough to stop kissing. 

He grinned, nudging her nose with his. “Gina asked Wells if he had any ideas of where you might go when upset. We had already run through all our guesses.”

“Where else did you try?”

He ran his hand through her waves. “First we checked your hometown, then we stopped by Mount Weather, and then your family’s cabin. I think we got there just hours after you left.” 

She shook her head, brushing her lips lightly over his again. “Sorry I made you chase me across multiple states.”

“It was worth it,” he told her. “I’d chase you anywhere.”

Clarke grinned and kissed him again, running her fingertips up and down the back of his neck. He pulled away after a few moments. “Although, for the record, things would be a lot easier if you didn’t run away every time we have a misunderstanding.”

She laughed. “I think I can agree to that.”

“Good,” he leaned in for yet another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who left kudos or comments on this fic! I might eventually write an epilogue, but otherwise this is the end of "Where Do Broken Hearts Go?" Please let me know what you thought, and thank you so much for reading!
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as Ravenclawpianist!


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